Just in case you had a life and missed the news, Miss Wisconsin won the Miss America pageant last night at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas. Yea, they still have it and its held here in Las Vegas. According to the ratings, 13% more of you found it this year on TV, compared to last years performance. .
Sorry, did that sound a little harsh?? Don’t take it wrong. I’m glad someone from my neck of the woods actually got the crown. But having grown up watching this show, and actually looked forward to it… I was a bit taken back by the truth behind America’s oldest beauty pageant when we covered it a few years ago. When you know the secret behind the sauce, you tend to lose your love for it.
However, Miss Wisconsin Laura Kaeppeler, actually had a heads up on the other contest. See, when you want to be a Miss America, there are few key ingredients you must posses: The ability to look pretty. The ability to not think. The ability to look pretty. The ability to toe the company line and finally, the ability to look pretty.
Toe the Line
In Miss America speak, that means to be able to convincingly talk about your dreams of world peace, using the crown to bring an end to world hunger and the desire to save the world with a great big hug. If you can’t repeat those words with a convincing smile while looking like a woman without a thought in her pretty little head, you don’t stand a chance of getting here.
In her case, Miss Wisconsin had the help of her father who did some time in the slammer for mail fraud. So her platform about helping the youth, was already rolling with speeches to school children and other “at risk” hungry, juveniles who will now have a new idol to look up to. The beautiful Miss America. That should attract the little perverts to her cause.
Is NASCAR Here yet??